Age-ing to Sage-ing
Trio works to redefine the way that we look at growing older

By Thor Carlson - Editor

Take out a piece of paper.
Make a list of all the words you think of when you hear "older."

Now make a list of all the words you think of when you hear "elder."

Are there differences in the lists?

If you're like most people, the words under elder probably have more positive connotations than those under older.

In a nutshell, that's what "Age-ing to Sage-ing is all about. It's a concept that three Twin Cities area experts are spreading in hopes of developing a new outlook on the later years of life.

"We want to change the paradigm of aging in this culture," said social worker Marian Eisner, one-third of the Age-ing to Sage-ing trio. "We want to stop the dread of aging, the fear of aging, and change that to respect. We want people to look to elders as a fountain of knowledge, of people to be respected."

"We've got to get people to think that life doesn't end at retirement. It's actually a new beginning. "Added Richard Kessler, Marian's husband, a National Weather Service meteorologist and the second piece of the Age-ing to Sage-ing picture.
"These are issues that we typically raise when we get to elderhood." said William Cox, the third Age-r to Sage-r who is a retired Methodist minister. "But they're issues that can be raised at any time. And that's the purpose of this. Unless you've thought about having a purpose as an elder, you won't be prepared. The earlier you think about it the better you'll be prepared."

Age-ing to Sage-ing is the brainchild of Rabbi Schachter-Shalomi. All three of the local sagers have read his books and attended retreats and workshops to prepare to lead the change for changing attitudes on aging.

"It was between my 49th and 50th birthdays," Kessler explained as when he started his Age-ing to Sage-ing quest. "I realized that when I go to 50, I couldn't say that I still had more than half of my life ahead of me with a straight face. I was looking for a path on how to lead the rest of my life."

"I've always been involved in social action, and consciousness development," continued Eisner. "This seemed like the next step, a natural progression with the values I have and what I've done through life."

Years ago during his ministry, Cox wanted to devote his retirement years to ministering to older people. Age-ing to Sage-ing provided the right forum for him.
"I saw Age-ing to Sage-ing as cutting edge. Rabbi Schacter says that it's more spiritual than religious,: said Cox.

For three years now, they've been taking the concept to groups, both of seniors and professionals who work with seniors. At first they received a grant from four groups in northeast Minneapolis and surrounding suburbs to do their work. Meting twice3 a month, the groups would go through discussion and writing exercises to discuss issues about aging.

Today, one of those groups still meets on its own without the guidance of the leaders to continue along the elder quest.

"It's really like a personal growth process for seniors," said Kessler.

"One of the things we do is spiritual intimacy," added Eisner. "We work up to getting people to talk about the things that are really personal by creating the space for that intimacy to happen."

Kessler related the story of a woman in her 40s who attended a session and wanted her father to go. He didn't take that step, but her asking him about the topic opened the door to their first open discussion of mortality and end-of-life issues.

"It was wonderful," he said. "She thought it was going to be difficult to talk about, but once the opportunity was there, he seemed interested to talk about it."
Cox likes to compare the process to financial retirement planning.

"This process is investing in your individual spiritual account," he said. "It's not that we're against traveling and playing golf and having fun in your retirement years. But there's more to elderhood than that. We want to encourage people to get more involved in the world later in their life."

They do Age-ing to Sage-ing seminars with church groups, at senior housing sites or with other senior groups. The rough breakdown is about 60 percent of the sessions are with seniors, 40 percent with professionals. And they've done everything from hour-long to 2 1/2-day seminars.

"It's not like some people aren't doing this on their own," said Cox. "But a lot of people at seminars tell us that they've never thought of these things before. It raises a lot of issues for them to be able to move forward."